This blog is dying.....
that's fine, the readership is down from 30-90 a day to 10-15.
I wish the new blog had a counter.
http://blindenough.blogspot.com/
I will keep this open through to Feb ... it's paid for.
All my patterns from this point forth will be sold through Etsy.
Orientation & Mobility - these are words you hear a lot about when you are finally diagnosed as blind. I thought they meant walking - getting out & about with a cane.
I was wrong.
Recently I read something that stated "I no longer use my eyes to see but to generally orient myself"..... this article went on to talk about how the writer started to "act blind" after his diagnosis. A close friend asked him if he was just doing that for emphasis in his adjustment to life with a cane.
I could relate! I have felt like I am behaving differently and I'm trying not to "act blind".
The writer said "No, I'm orienting myself through my other senses. That takes more time than relying on your sight."
Wow. That was great to read. It really came back to me yesterday when I was in the chiropractors office. I've had some back trouble & moving my head is out of the question. I was orienting myself through smell, memory, and sensory feel (you know the tunnel feeling you get in some hallways?). I thought at the time I must look 'blinder' because I was being slow trying to take in all the information. It made me think of the first time I was there when I just barrelled forward trying to follow the doctor to the room and hoping I wouldn't stumble on something.
I now think back, it's been 10-15 years that I've felt like I was always moving too fast in public. I would get lost in big public buildings like hospitals because I couldn't register all the information I needed as I followed someone somewhere. I couldn't ORIENT myself along the way because I couldn't really see much or trust what I saw. It's been 8 years that I've been asking for directions in buildings "a right after the green door, then a left after the elevator & then the 3rd door on the left"..... I'd often get -- "follow the signs" and I'd just go over it again. Not truly comprehending that I couldn't read the signs easily. I know that sounds odd. But this is not something I really embraced.
I was raised to act normal, sighted. As that became more difficult I adapted & just ignored it. I am surprised that more people around me didn't pick up on these things. I guess I really didn't have someone in my life that was that close to me. I did, but nobody wanted to see this.
I am NORMAL, there is nothing WRONG with who I am or how I manage. I still do more than many & yearn to be even more involved in life, activities, my community.
I act BLINDER... I am BLIND. Yes, I can see, some, but it's not like you & that's okay. I will get faster at Orienting myself in these new ways & I will get more confident & I will adjust to those new first impressions.
That's a whole new post.... Blind First Impressions.....
I'm going to host a yarn group - hopefully teach a few local Moms how to loom knit & crochet.
Yeah... I miss some of the simple joys...
Every diagnosis is a blessing from God. The positive diagnosis & the negative.
Thankfully this one is negative.
To show how serious this disorder is I thought it could be a possibility due to the symptoms, inquired on Sat/Sun & was into the University this am! With results already! Already!
Thankfully this is a negative. I get to spend many long years with my son.
Mothers Day news --- I'll be getting genetic testing for HPS. It's a syndrome associated with my Occular Albinism.
It has a mortality rate of 70% from the age of 30-50.
Well, since I'm already 1/2 way through that phase, I've decided to make it all the way through! I'm going to live to be 100 like my Grandma. I've decided. It's done. This will not cause me any concern accept to make me live more, live louder & live longer! (before today I was thinkin' 90).
As many of you know I'm now blogging mostly about my life as a Blind Mom at http://blindenough.blogspot.com/
Yesterday's post was cut short - teething boy. He has gone from 6 teeth a month ago to 13!
This morning I cried. I was reading an email & realizied I wasn't putting the right person to the name. I cry now as I type this. Some of these limitations are so hard. It is so hard on an emotional level to know that everyone who meets me knows I'm blind. It's hard, too, because I know that many people know blindness is a spectrum issue. Most have the sense to know that I see something, they're just too polite to ask how much.
The way I was raised I came to believe that my poor sight / blindness was a weakness. Nobody said that, but it's what I came to believe. I was raised NOT to be a victim.
It is hard to re-wire that thinking. I assume people think less of me now. I'm not giving people much credit am I?
My Mom & Step-Dad have been here & we've had a chance to order some things that may help me. I've also had a chance to go around the house & do a few things I've been meaning to do. I've got bright markes on things so I don't bump into them. Dots marking settings on the stove & washer. Some starter braille books.
I got a new cane that may be sturdy enough for outdoor tavel & it has a flashing red light so that my son can see me if he gets a bit too far away.
I'll tell you a funny story - I ran into a woman I know & her 3 yr old son. He saw the tattoos on my arms & wasn't too sure about them. I explained that they were so my littler son could easily identify me in the midst of Mommies everywhere. I imagine that at times it's just as hard for a little emotional one to quickly pick out his Mommy in a group of Mommies. I guess I got that right, because he gave me a high five!
It got me thinking that not only do I need to do things to easily recognize my own son in a crowd of little ones - but I need to make myself easily recognizable to him (like the cane & glasses aren't enough?). Oh well, it's a story that makes me cry good tears.
'm also thinking that we should put some bumper stickers on our cars... I can't recognize them anymore & maybe that would help our son, too. I wonder what Daddy will think. He's a car guy - I don't know that bumper stickers will be easy for him. He was really good with the bright pink duct tape in the cabinets, how far can you push a man?
stitch, a single stockinette on kintting board, one wrap of each peg in a slant to whichever direction is comfortable for you.
Wow!!! Legally Blind.
I'm shocked. I knew I was blind in one eye with low vision in the other & a significantly restricted field of vision ..... I just didn't know it was that bad.
I wasn't ready for it. I thought that designation was another year or two off. I thought I was being proactive, pre-emptive, PRE SOMETHING.
But, No, it's HERE, NOW...... I'm not waiting anymore. I'm living, I am.
It's weird - it's an adjustment to not struggle so much.... that makes no sense, it should be easy to just let go & do it the easy way - but it's not. It's hard to let people see the problem, even hard to let them see the solution.
I'm going to a lady's progressive dinner & I'm already thinking "how will I know my black shoes from everybody else's?" --- you know when you all have to take your shoes off at the door. I'm going to bring clothes pins & put them on my shoes so I can pick mine out more easily. Maybe I need to start wearing all RED shoes.
Many breaths today.
I will tell you right now I am soooo angry. I have a custom domain
It has been an easy thing to work with but now in trying to restart my blog anew it is not easy & the new blog people have no direct help contact. I am soooo angry.
I just want help. I don't know what step I am missing.
www.LoomingLaura.com is no longer linked to this blog.
It will be linked to my Blind Enough blog at Blogger.
I am Looming Laura, but this blog was home to my negative thoughts on my visual impairment & I just want to end that.
I will let this blog live for a while & then move on to my new blog Blind Enough at Blogger. It will combine my general blogging & pattern sales. I will also be starting to translate my patterns into Braille.
Thank you for your readership & Please look for me over at Blogger (BlogSpot)!
